Top Ten List: Bad Star Trek

WHAT!?

Yup.

But aren’t you the gal who just went last Thursday to see Star Trek: The Next Generation in the movie theaters? An episode you have seen multiple times, from over 2 decades ago? Didn’t you just throw your friend an awesome Star Trek birthday party? 

Yup. Yup. Yup.

Star Trek is amazing but not everything is ideal. Before you start cursing my name, hear me out. Here is the top ten worst things about Star Trek.

10) The color change of the uniform. It’s not really a big deal but I gotta have 10,  so it made the list. In the original Star Trek the colors are as follows:

Command positions were gold, operations were red and science blue. Then Star Trek: The Next Generations came along and look what they did:

Command is now red and operations now gold.

It’s silly to raise an eyebrow to this, but if it was real, which it’s not, that is crazy. Changing a uniform is a big deal in the military world. The Navy, which Star Trek was patterned after, uses color uniforms on their Flight Deck. Yellow shirts are the flight deck officers and thus command. Red shirts load and “arm” the weapons on the aircraft, operations. Seems like Star Trek TOS got it right.

9) The Navy. Ugh, Star Trek is the Navy. The Navy stinks. I dated a Navy boy (he hated the Navy) and lived on a Naval base in Florida. The seamen (negative points right there) have to work hard in tiny places, wear horrible dress uniforms and are out on the ships even in peacetime. It’s a sucky job. Plus the Village People didn’t help their image at all. They did have some rocking moves in their sweet video of “In The Navy”. Just click on the picture and enjoy.

8) Half naked aliens. They run rampant throughout the Star Trek universe. It seems ladies on other planets don’t need/want clothes.

Only Spock could ignore that outfit.

How do the ugly guys get the super models? It happens more than it should.

Original green alien girl. They seemed to have use the exact same make-up on the green girl in the last Star Trek movie. She looked just as bad and, was half naked.

Zarabeth here lives on a ice plant, couldn’t you tell?

Thank goodness this planet had extra tin foil laying around. Too bad those panties look like  baby disposable diapers.

Not as naked as the others but just as disturbing.

You get the point, which leads us to…

7) Seven-of-nine

“Could I get a pocket on this thing for my cell phone and lip balm. Sheesh.”

There was a rumor that the Star Trek uniforms were padded so that all the woman looked the same. Then along comes Seven-of-nine. Super distracting. This was the least offensive picture I could find. There was no way she could wear any underwear in that outfit and the nerdy men knew it. Gross.

6) The Star Trek was TOO politically correct. At first it was super cool with Star Trek: TOS with all the different nations. A couple of boys from the US, a Scottish engineer (played by a Canadian), a Russian navigator (played by an American), a Japanese helmsmen (played by a Japanese-American), a strong black woman (played by a strong black woman) and an alien who almost got cut from the show because he looked too much like the devil (not played by Satan). All that was super cool when Star Trek first aired in 1966. Cutting edge, amazing.

Fast forward to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Everyone made such a stink of a black captain. This in 1993 when our military had tons of black leaders. The new writers kept trying to capture that same feeling of cutting edge from the 60’s. However that ship had sailed. Then when Star Trek: Voyager came out I had to roll my eyes. A female captain is cool, and I liked the actress but a black Vulcan,half-human half-Klingon and a Native American? Come on. I didn’t like the characters or their acting. It felt like they were pushing too hard and HAD to come up with something different. Instead of finding good actors, they tried to be shocking. Not cool.

5) Cardassians. Worst regular aliens ever. They are just Klingon wannabes without looking cool or being true warriors. There are some fabulous aliens in the Star Trek fake universe like The Borg and Romulans. These guys are on the b team. We could cut them from Star Trek all together and be just fine (kind of like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).

I don’t want to look at either of these guys.

4) Horrible side characters. If you are a fan of Star Trek you will recognize these guys. If not, just take my word for it, I wanted them all to die.

Top of the list is Doctor Katherine Pulaski. She replaced Dr. Crusher in season 2 of TNG. Rumor is they fired her as she couldn’t gel with the rest of the cast. It was pretty obvious to those of us watching. UGH

Hey crazy eyes, we get it you are tough. Quit trying to prove it every episode. Oh you died. Bummer. Bring on Worf! P.S. We did love your half Romulan daugher. She kicks your butt.

Ensign Ro. She was loud, didn’t follow the rules, whined about not being able to wear her earring. What the heck was an ensign doing hanging around all the senior officers anyway. She needed to go.

Rom, The Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek. You wonder if the writers put him in there just to entertain little kids. He has no real reason to be around, none.

Sure Neelix was a regular on Voyager but he was annoying, useless, amazingly stupid and got multiple people killed because of how stupid he was.

Oh my….

Where is Guinan, you might be asking. I didn’t mind her so much. If you want to add her to your personal hate list, be my guest.

3) The fans of Star Trek. Chad and I did attend the Star Trek: TNG Best of Both Worlds showing at the local theater last Thursday. I SO wish I could have taken a picture of the people in that theater with us. There are many words to describe them, some are chubby, or hicks, or not normal. The theater was pretty much full of people you see on sites making fun of people who shop at Walmart. The fans can be such weirdoes!

What the heck? Guinan isn’t white, Deanna never wore a red dress, it was turquoise, Geordi was black not Asian, Ensign Ro has her earring on and is Beverly here a man? Sheesh, stupid fans.

Really? Really.

There are always chubby girls trying to make Star Trek sexy. It never works.

“That’s funny! My grandkids won’t talk to me either!”

This is pretty much what the theater looked like last Thursday. I doubt a single person there is under 30. Nerds!

2) The short shirts. Being LDS, I live my life with a very nice dress code, cover up!! I wish more people in this world would follow that code. I don’t care if you are skinny, tan, or just proud of your heavier, white body. We (normal people) don’t want to see it. I am a stickler for accuracy in my fake sci-fi worlds and the fact that I can’t, and don’t want others to, dress in mini skirts is a bummer. The show did come out in the 60’s and woman just had to show of their power and independence by revealing those legs. Thank goodness there wasn’t power in cleavage back then for Starfleet Academy officers.

I don’t think that skirt could be an millimeter higher. Don’t bend over Uhura! Please.

And now at the end of the longest Top Ten List ever, the worst thing about Star Trek is…

1) I’m not in it!

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized